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Many times, when a relationship goes wrong, we blame ourselves.  Women are usually the first ones to jump in, to compromise, to try to fix things.  The hardest realization that we need to come to is that everything is not always our fault!


He (or she) may not be doing the things that we want them to do.  As adults we all have the right and the free will to do whatever it is that we want.  All actions have reactions, and all choices have repercussions.  That is okay.  Once you come to the conclusion that everything broken is not only up to yours to fix, you can work on fixing yourself.


We are emotional creatures, we get angry, we throw things, or we get sad, we cry, we get hurt, we cry (or throw things).  The most important thing to realize is that unless you fix yourself, from the hurt, the pain, and the anger – nothing else will go right.  Here are some of my suggestions to fixing your self.


1- Take a good look at your self in the mirror.  I know that it sounds cliché, but seriously.  Look at yourself for a long time and figure out what it is that you see.  If you don’t like your hair – change it.  If you don’t like your figure, change your diet and exercise.  Don’t only look at the things that you don’t like, but appreciate the things that you do like.  Understand that those things are okay, and make a plan to change the other things and stick to it!


2- Phone a friend.  Not every friend.  Find one good friend that you can confide in, maybe two.  Make sure that those friends are unbiased and are not angry themselves.  Possibly look to someone that successfully has gotten out of a similar situation and learn through their trial and error.


3- Get in touch with your spiritual side. – This is not about religion.  This is more about getting in touch with yourself and sorting out your feelings.  Once you understand what is happening with you, you can then work on feeling better. Meditate, pray, chant – do whatever it is you do to get into a better place


4- Write it down. – There are often times when someone will not pick up the phone, or it may be too late or too early to call someone, but keep a little (or big) notebook by your side and use that to get out your innermost feelings.   Read them at the end of the night and reflect on how you felt.


5 – Get out the house – Do things that you love to do, go to the spa, go shopping, meet up with friends, hang out with the kids – do any and everything that you enjoy to lift your spirits.


The point of all of this is to get you to focused on what is important – you!  Once you start to things that you enjoy, you will start to learn to do the things that you used to find important and things that you enjoy. You will start to remember how important you are as a person.