As women we all have a checklist of some sorts that we keep in our Mental Rolodex when looking for our future life partner. A man this tall, this build, this complexion, this rich, this much swag, good with kids, loves the Lord, etc… etc. Yet for some odd reason when confronted by a man that meets everything or damn close to everything on this so called checklist, we pass it up; He’s too soft, not tall enough or he doesn’t make you get that tingling feeling deep within. SO why is it that women fall for Mr. Wrong, When Mr. Right Is Right There?
It all started at a very young age, where as little girls we were attracted to the class clown or that “bad boy”. You know the one, always in trouble yet all the girls wanted to be his girlfriend. There is just something about a boy with an edge to him that we as women are drawn to. This attraction doesn’t waiver as we get older, we just become immune to the bullshit.
After talking to several women, the discovery is that many have stepped away from the bad boy to attempt a “normal” relationship with Mr. Right aka Mr. Checklist, but there was always something missing. The chemistry seems to be the driving force behind why women are drawn to bad boys or Mr. Wrong. As women we sometimes have that desire or need of potentially “turning” a bad boy, good. We feed off of it. It could be the nurturers in us or simply the need to be needed, bettering these bad boys in some way.
But the question is why do we continue to return to Mr. Wrong after being hurt time and time again? Are we gluttons for punishment? Why isn’t the constant pain enough for us to say “I’m done and I deserve better’”. We have all experienced heartbreak at some point in our lives but how we handle it is really the turning point. Some of us get turned off to love entirely, while others remain determined to make these failed relationships work, whether its with the same person or with another Mr. Wrong.
It comes down to the type of men we as women attract. Put forth confidence, ambition, and strength; as these are the qualities you want in a man. Stated best in the India Aire song The Truth “if I am a reflection of him then I must be fly cause his light it shines so bright I wouldn’t lie”, you attract what you give off and our partners whether we choose to see it or not are reflections of us in one way or another.
So how do we find Mr. Right and stay away from Mr. Wrong? Start with yourself. Self-reflection is key, work on bettering YOU first before you decide to bring a partner into the equation. Work on the characteristics you love about yourself and those you could do without, know your worth and Mr. Right will be Mr. Right-For-You! Never settle for second best.