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Thanksgiving has the potential to be the most wonderful time of the year.  Good food, family, close friends, memories.  For some of us, it is a game of tug-of-war, trying to decide whose house to eat at, your house, your parents, or the in-laws.  Unfortunately, trying to decide which family gets to have you for the holidays seems like an unfair competition, but from the time you say “I do” that is how it can be.

 

Here are some tips to try to mitigate missing your family or your spouse missing theirs during the holidays.

If everyone lives in different states, or far away:

 

–       Try to take turns on holidays.  Spend Thanksgiving with one Family, and Christmas/Hanukkah with the other.

–       Consider inviting both families to your home for the holidays.

–       See if the families would consider all going to the other in-laws homes.

 

If everyone lives in the same state:

 

–       Spend dinner at one home, and dessert at another home

–       Still consider inviting everyone over to your home

–       Taking turns on alternate holidays is also an option.

–       Possibly go have breakfast and watch football with your dad but spend the evening with his mom.

–       Make it a pot-luck and have everyone over and share in making in the thanksgiving meal.

 

It is important to remember that this is not your sole decision.  Ensure that your spouse is on board with the holiday plans.  If things get too hectic, you may want to consider just a quiet evening at home – and no one wins.  You have to remember that you and your spouse married each other, and while parents tend to be possessive of their children, especially after they leave the nest and get married, you have to make sure that you are setting boundaries with both sides of the family.  Once you are able to start proper traditions, it is easier for these families to know what to expect.

 

After a few years of marriage – everyone will know what to expect as long as everything is communicated properly.  Once everyone knows what’s to expect and what the boundaries are for the holidays, there will be less arguments and hurt feelings to be had later on.

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