Natalia: Hey girl, I know we said we were hanging out this month but I’ve been so busy. I haven’t really had a moment for myself, how was your month? Any good stories to tell?
Kelli: Well, I actually went out last weekend with my girlfriend to a couple of bars. We had a great time but there was one encounter that rubbed me the wrong way. My friend and I were standing by the bar, sipping wine and rocking to the music. This man was standing behind me in a predatorial way, and I KNEW that within the next three songs, he would attach himself to me! Hahaha! So anyway, we begin to dance and small talk: He tells me that he loves me (Strike 1), then he gets a little too friendly with his roaming hands (Strike 2) and finally, the truth comes out – He’s married with two kids in Jamaica!!! (Strike 3. Game over)
Natalia: Oh nooooooo!!! MARRIED!?!?!? He was that quick to tell you that? So what happened next?
Kelli: Noooo! He didn’t tell me; I tricked him. He asked me if I was married and I said “yes” and so he responded “Me too, but she’s in Jamaica with my two kids. Im talking to someone up here but it’s not that serious.” Seriously??? Boy Bye! Is this what single ladies in their 30s have to look forward to???
Natalia: Unfortunately, that’s what it seems like. For a LONG time, the only guys that I would meet were married, but then I ask myself if this is really that much of a common thing or if subconsciously we are looking for those married men. If you really think about it, any guy could try and hit on you but you have the power – the choice – to decide who you do and don’t want to date …
Kelli: I feel like we attract what we are willing to accept. When you are no longer willing to accept something into your life, you will not continue to see it. I also feel like behaviors don’t change. Men who want to cheat will cheat, whether they are married or dating. I dont think that men place as much emphasis on fidelity within marriage as women do.
Natalia: I think woman are just as guilty as men in that department. I could be wrong, but from my personal experience everyone cheats. I’ve cheated in a relationship and I’ve been cheated ON. You have to try and see the reasons why people cheat. Some people are lonely, most are unhappy and there are others that cheat just out of boredom and while I do not accept or tolerate cheating in a relationship, I’ve been guilty of it in the past. I had my reasons for doing it and you can’t judge someone unless you are in their shoes. I do strongly believe that when it comes to cheating, there HAS to be two parties involved for the cheating to occur and both parties are equally guilty for engaging. The guy is no more a scumbag for cheating, as much as the girl is a homewrecker for accepting the offer and vice versa. So to answer your question, I don’t think that cheating or married guys are something that we have to look forward to in our 30’s, I just think that at that age, we’ve experienced so much in our lives and getting involved with a married person is something that isn’t so “taboo” at that age.
Kelli: I hear what you’re saying, but I also feel like the chances of you meeting a man who’s involved with someone increases as we get older. We have to make a decision as to what we allow into our lives. Weed them out a little better. Use a fine tooth comb. If it doesn’t feel right – get out. A woman’s gut, has never lied!
Natalia: You are right. The older we get the harder it is to meet a man that isn’t already married. That window seems to be getting smaller and smaller with every year that passes. Just as you mentioned, we are in control of the decisions we make, even if we decide to be a little bad and have a little fun (hehehe), but our very single, unattached man is out there … we just have to keep going with the flow until we find him.
Kelli: Yes. Staying positive is the most important thing we can do.
Natalia: Well, I’m sorry that you had a so-so experience going out over the weekend, maybe next time it’ll be different. Until then, the search continues …