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There is nothing greater than love, except when that love stops working. The heart never stops loving and thus begins the epic mental tug of war between going or staying in a relationship. Most people stay in these dead end relationships way past it’s due date and the question is, why? I believe people don’t have a strong enough vision for their lives, they confuse a soul mate with a life partner, and the power of the peen is overwhelming.

walking-awayI approach relationships a lot differently than my girlfriends. I can’t really relate to my friends who lament over their boyfriends who won’t do right. I usually have a vision for how I want my life to go. And if it doesn’t fall in line then I am out quick, fast and in a hurry. I actually take a step back and look at what is going on in my life as if it’s a show and if I don’t like the direction that it is headed I try to come up with a solution. Usually that means I leave.  I think that a lot of women are conditioned to be martyrs in life, struggling to meet some end goal. Rather than seeking to have internal happiness they hold on to the promise of this man. Whenever your happiness is based on someone else you always run the risk of that happiness running out.

I was shocked to discover that a soul mate isn’t someone that you should necessarily marry. I read an article and they described a soul mate as a person who comes into your life to teach you some life lesson, thereby enhancing your soul. I believe (me included) many people feel like once they have found a soul mate they need to latch on to that person for dear life, because hey, this person gets me on a soul level. Not true. We can have multiple soul mates for various aspects of our lives, but for a lasting relationship we need a life partner.  I personally feel that a lot of people are in relationships with their soul mate, with the understanding that this person is going to be their life partner. A soul mate could in fact be a life partner but it is not a requirement.

To be more clear, I came to the conclusion that the father of my daughter was a soul mate and not the life partner that I hoped he would be.  Although I left the relationship (because as I said, I don’t play that waiting around for stuff to get better mess) I had a difficult time accepting that he wasn’t the one. We operated as if this was it. But when the funk hit the fan I was left with life lessons  I didn’t even know that  I needed to learn. And it bothered me until I realized that he was a soul mate disguised as a life partner. Some women will never make that distinction, and that is why they stay in a relationship that doesn’t work.

Finally the power of the peen is enough to take down the strongest women. Lauryn Hill anyone? Women have to realize that they are a vessel and they have to be careful what they take on and leave themselves open to.  Great sex has the ability to make a bad relationship better and that is not necessarily a good thing.  I mean I could get all long winded but I refer you back to the second line of this paragraph. Lauryn Hill. To avoid being peen whipped, women need to make sure the dude is worthy of her time and so, even if she does become whipped, it won’t be a bad thing because he is worthy.