So this past weekend I attended a formal birthday party, I almost talked myself out of it but the ticket was already paid for, my hair was done and my dress laid out. Now, why would I give up an opportunity to go out by myself and be amongst adults and have a good time?! The truth is I was tired, my accounting teacher has a mountainous amount of requirements for class and I had a short essay that was already a day late. The moments of quiet when your child(ren) are not home you just want to relax, unwind, it can’t just be me or can it? But I digress, I had done a few loads of laundry, cleaned up the front of the house and by the end of that I was just like eh this may not happen. Needless to say I went and had a ball, l hadn’t laughed and just relaxed without thinking of housework, homework, or taking care of my son, I just let my hair down and danced and made people laugh, it was awesome! A reality set in for me after the 4 inch spiked heels were off and the cocktail dress hit the floor. I, Nykita, have become a boring hermit, who only leaves the house when absolutely necessary. You know you have been missing in action for a long time when you walk in a room and all eyes turn to you and that one outspoken person yells, You going to the party, oh s—“ I try not to miss big events like birthdays of my closest if I can help it, but….
I did that little bit of rambling to say as a mother do not feel guilty for thinking and taking time for yourself, I confess I am still in the stage of no I can’t get that massage because what if something comes up next week and I need that money, baby step with me. Now we as a collective, yes I said we because I know I am not alone can either stop being tired, yeah that’s not going to happen, or we can take control and start living life to the fullest and beyond mental and measurable capacity. I don’t want to be one of those mothers who every waking moment makes it about their children in the sense that they never did anything for themselves to keep their little internal light burning for the sake of their sanity. Because truth be told we make our lives about our children, yes they are our sun and our moon but we all need a little private starlight for ourselves that doesn’t involve housework, playing tag in between the living room furniture, school, work, and etcetera. So let us cast away the guilt for wanting some me time because when our spirits are happy, well fed and rested we have the ability to offer our children a more abundant and fruitful us, just like we must feed their spirits and bodies we must recognize when we need to do the same for ourselves. Ladies drop your cape off at the dry cleaners one Saturday and pretend that the bat signal is broken, try it if you can, I dare you.
Do not be afraid to waste a little gas to go on a short drive (I hate driving) if the single mother gods are reading I need a husband who doesn’t mind being my daily chauffeur, again I digress, take time to read, sit at an outdoor café and enjoy the sun, visit an exhibit, zip line if that’s your thing, just do something that is for you, reward yourself for all of the outstanding hard work you put into your children. As single mothers we have to refuse to live a life full of regrets and give up because we were dealt an unfair hand and wish we could call do-over. But if you bust at twenty one, keep your hand and change the game.
Signing off Kita my cape is in the cleaners leave a message at the beep while I sip my green smoothie Small.
I would love to hear what the mothers out there in WMDSF land did to replenish their spirits with a free time activity.