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A disclaimer here ladies: Some of you may find this article to be unsettling, a scathing, one-sided indictment of female behavior which is completely unfair, and some of you may be insulted by the assertions made in the following statements… Guess what? If the shoe fits, lace that sucker up!  Get over it!  It is not all about you and that is EXACTLY what this commentary is about.

Today’s society is filled with talk shows, “Reality TV” shows, and self-help books that center primarily around how seemingly awful men are and how women are victimized by “no good” men, who are obsessed with sex without commitment. These shows portray men as hunters who are always in search of their next conquest and that men are heartless, use women, and discard them at our earliest convenience, thereby perpetuating the image of the man as a dog. It is recurring theme, NOT because it is accurate or true but because it sells to the audience the producers of such swill are catering to. Women. Poor women, boo hoo, let’s get more sympathy because you have obviously done NOTHING wrong ever. I have news for you ladies, it is a myth.

Today’s women are just as much, if not more, cold, calculating, and deceitful as men are portrayed to be. They engage in just as many affairs, more lies with a straight face, and go through men like condiments at a fast food joint. Open, use, discard, and repeat. The funny thing is that they act with impunity and walk away with sympathy! In the past, women were seen as the ones seeking companionship and lifelong commitment. Women were seen as being the ones who believed in “we” while dastardly, good-for-nothing men were concerned only with themselves. Unfortunately, if you pay close attention to much of what you see on social media, today’s enterprising women believe that “we” translates into both partners doing “what’s good for her”. If he is not taking care of her, fawning over her, focused only on her, as well as letting her do whatever the hell she wants, when she wants, and enduring her verbal and emotional abuse, he is no good. If he stands up for himself, he is controlling. If he takes it, he is weak.  If he finds someone else, he is a dog. Meme after meme, article after article, show after show about how it is all the man’s fault. They cannot even take accountability for their actions! If a man cheats, it is because he is a dog and no good. If a woman cheats, it is because her man was not appreciating her and drove her to it. Complete bull. This article is going to deal with the side of the story that is most often ignored, quite often ridiculed, and in most cases marginalized; the broken man.

There are far more abused, and emotionally damaged men than society chooses to admit. Why? Men are not supposed to have feelings. Men are supposed to bounce back and get back in the game after a break-up. Right? A “real man” should not dwell in the heartache after a divorce or a breakup. Real men should be able to take a woman physically striking him and not retaliate. As a matter of fact, if he strikes back, HE is the abuser, but if he takes it, no one will believe him (but that is an article on its own). It is a nasty cycle.  Let’s take this situation for a moment: Women say they want a loving man, one who supports her dreams, her goals, and her children, backs her plays, and protects her. When they get one what do they do? Dump him for the nearest garden tool that is only interested in her when she is ten toes up. As a matter of fact, THAT kind of man has no qualms about letting her stay with her man, as long as she is giving him the goods with no personal investment.  Not only will she give him the goods, but she will give him her BEST, do all of the freakiest things in the Karma Sutra, and break her neck trying to keep him. There are women who model their lives after “Sex and the City” or live their lives by the philosophies of selfish and lonely celebrities, who go through one failed relationship after another, or worse yet, preach a life that they do not live. The guy that was in her corner? Discarded, at the slightest hint that she might have a chance with the other guy. The good man is left out in the cold and she has no regrets.

Here is a shocker ladies: That man that you dogged out, and dumped? He will not bounce back quickly. Men are much more apt to see the failure of a relationship as an internal thing or a personal failure, a flaw in his own purpose driven character. Men take far longer to get over breakups; do not be fooled by his actions. If it looks like he bounced back, and “got back on the horse”, and he seems unphased? He is not. It is a way to save face because he has no outlet, not without being shamed by a society that says “man up”! What the hell does that even mean?  Men have a harder time reconciling betrayal for their loyalty. No matter what, even if he does move on, he will NEVER trust another woman the way he trusted the one that betrayed him. What is betrayal to a man?  No, it is not breaking up with him because it is not working. It is breaking up with him and because you are already involved in a full blown relationship with the next man which you started when you were supposed to be committed to the relationship with him.  It is your man forgiving you for all the wrong and infidelities, you have done but you cash him in at the drop of a dime. Betrayal is divorcing a man and then turning his kids against him because you don’t like him anymore. Betrayal is taking him to the cleaners and moving leaving an empty house while he is deployed (for military men). Here are some more spoilers, the guy that you left your man for? He will never trust you because in his mind, if you’ll do it to the guy you supposedly love, you’ll do it to him. Be prepared to be jealously controlled, monitored or pre-emptively dumped at the slightest mistake you make! The guy you dumped? He will be someone else’s monster, because you took something that was willing to walk on water for you and drowned him in the bathtub. Every man whether he will admit it or not, has that one woman in his life that when she did him wrong, changed his views on women for life. Players and dogs and not born, they are made.

Many women will read this and believe it is an excuse because after all, “women get hurt too”. But it is this very mentality and failure to acknowledge how men and women are built differently and wired completely opposite that continues to perpetuate the myth that men are always the culprits and women are always the victims. You will continue to ridicule that guy who can’t seem to get over it, and is “acting like a P”. In the end however, you will inherit someone else’s monster and end up on the victim side again. Stop the hypocrisy, break the cycle, don’t break your man, and take ownership for what you do.

Just keepin it Real B

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