Most women believe that there are many different reasons that men act the way they do in relationships. They range from, thinking with the little brain, to being stupid, to insensitivity or being too sensitive, being soft, or just plain being a B****. Women believe that the “good” men are in touch with their feminine side and “understand” women, but yet in still they dump these men for jerks quite often. In reality, men are actually very simple. The primary motivator for men to do anything is one simple word, EGO. The male ego is the driving force behind 99% of what a man does, says, or thinks. An understanding of this concept will help you to understand your man as well as realize the things you should NOT EVER say to him if you want to keep him. Men at a very early age are taught that certain behaviors are masculine and others are not. It thus affects everything that a man says, does, or thinks. It is a healthy or unhealthy seeding of the male ego that results in the three types of male archetypes.
- The Alpha male
- The Beta male
- The Omega male
I am borrowing from Men Going their Own Way www.mgtow.com here because it is spot on in their assessment of these male archetypes and their relation to interacting with women. The Alpha male types are usually those with a healthy dose of ego aka swagger, they are confident, they exude sexuality and they also do not give a damn if they are actually good looking or not. They believe they are the ish, and nothing you say can convince them otherwise. They are not always arrogant or narcissistic but those traits can easily fall within this archetype. These men are aggressive, they go for what they want, they have no qualms about approaching a beautiful woman, or ignoring her altogether as she has no bearing on what he thinks of himself. In relationships these men are decision makers, sexually aggressive and in control of themselves at every turn. Their childhoods usually consist of healthy competitiveness, physical activity, and loads of praise.
Beta males are men who try to identify with a woman’s point of view and see things from their perspective. These are the men you see in romantic-comedies as well as the men who will go see a romantic comedy with you. These are the men who will always put his woman first, is thoughtful, caring, nurturing, sweeter than Kool-aid in the hood, and is ultra-attentive. He is also another word when women get involved with him, BORING! Yes, she appreciates the thoughtfulness but she gets angry when he tries to see everything from her perspective. There are times she wants to argue! Men like this do everything to avoid conflict with their women, to make up as soon as possible, and to pander to her which eventually gets so annoying to her that she dumps him and goes for the Ultra Alpha type, aka the jerk. Men like this, are usually raised in homes where Mom and dad didn’t work out so she taught her son to be a “good man”, which in reality is her version aka the romantic-comedy version of a man. He is raised not to express himself and that women are authority figures with whom he should never disagree. His ego is handicapped and he believes the only way he can get and keep a woman is by being super attentive to her needs. Unfortunately, again, this man is not only dumped eventually, but is usually made fun of their by Alpha friends. This is why women complain there are no good men, they come up with this Prince Charming scenario and then dump the guy when you have him because he is no challenge.
The last type is the Omega male, aka navel lint, aka doing life in the friend-zone. Most women do not even notice these guys or if they do, keep them as friends to tell all their secrets to; just as they would another female. These males are the most disrespected of all male archetypes. They simply are too afraid to approach a woman that they like, live in a constant state of assumed rejection, have no idea what to say if a woman actually responds and is actually very awkward. This type of man is usually the one whose parents didn’t really invest any time in them at all. As a matter of fact they also didn’t notice them. Their fathers were not there or never really pulled him aside to show him anything, and their mother’s also ignored them, as long as they were quiet and out of the way. Unfortunately for Omega males, the lack of male upbringing causes ego paralyzation. While the Beta male turns into a doormat, the Omega male is completely invisible to the opposite sex and often lives in a fantasy world or suffers from depression. (Google involuntary-celibacy). The reason this article is directed toward women, and somewhat toward men is that women raising male children have an undeniable affect on the man he is going to become. Hamstringing your male child because you are mad at his father, thus turning him into the version of his Dad you think you should have gotten, is detrimental to his ego as well as the rest of his romantic future. Ignoring your male child because you have no time or because you are too busy “doing you” is just as bad because he will have no idea how to deal with women at all. Males need male exposure to evolve into proper men. Lastly, I would like to touch on things you can say that are sure to drive your man away or at least make him become utterly insensitive to anything you need or want. Avoid these EGO BOMBS at all cost!! :
- “I don’t need you”- As I said in previous articles, men are purpose driven so when you say this he may not respond but the next time you actually need him, he will throw it right back in your face. “I thought you said you don’t need me? Why should I give a *choose an expletive*? Solve it your self”!
- “My last boyfriend gave me.., or did… or was better at…” This is a sure fire way to make him blow up in your face. Males, whether Alpha, Beta or Omega do not like to be compared to other males, so DON’T DO IT! His response will probably be, ” So why don’t you go find him and leave me alone?” Plus which he won’t make any effort to do anything for you again.
- “I love you but not as much as I should”- Cool, he will sex you as much as he can and replace you before you can replace him, and he will be sure to make it hurt
- And FINALLY- “If you love me you would buy me *insert whatever*- this kind of blackmail bargaining is sure to make him treat you like a prostitute since you are equating his love for you to material profiting. Hint: If you are trading the goods for goods, that is pretty much prostitute behavior to men.
In my next article I will give a few pointers on how to actually feed the ego properly to get exactly what you want out of a man emotionally. Until next month!! KEEP IT REAL B!