Welcome back readers!!! Hope that all is well with you all. For this month, I decided to go on ahead and speak on the topic of when a man isn’t really into you. It might hit a few nerves but honestly, that’s an issue that I’m sure you will have to deal with if this is a situation applies to you. Women definitely have their own ways of showing men that they aren’t interested anymore, some which I’ve experienced, and we as men would have to take it with a grain of salt and keep it moving. Well, the men have their ways also. Let’s say you’re dating a guy and things seem to be going well. All of a sudden you start noticing things are different between the both of you. What could it all mean? Why is he acting this way towards me? Well let’s just get right to it so that you will have an idea of what to look out for.
#1 When a man only hits you up when he’s drunk or wants to hook up
I know this one sounds crazy but it does happen and it is what it is. If you happen to be in this situation when the guy that you are dating tends to hit you up in the night with a possible drunk text or to see what you’re up to, chances are he’s looking to get some. If, between the two of you, you are the one that is always initiating conversations or even asking to see if you two meet up and hang out somewhere at a decent time of the day, he is definitely not looking for long conversation and he is not trying to go anywhere with you. Most likely, his intentions were to just to hook up. That is a messed up situation but I can tell you that this happens from time to time. Are you only good to be with at night?
#2 Getting to know the people in your life is not an option for him
During the course of dating, you start to notice how good he is with you and you feel its time for him to meet the people you’re close to, which would be close friends and family. You bring it up to him and he more than one time turns it down. He’s definitely not looking for this relationship to be long term. If he is dipping and dodging meeting your parents or even a few of your girlfriends, then he is definitely not trying to make things official. He is trying his hardest to not meet them because when you both end up going your separate ways, he doesn’t want the animosity from these people for breaking your heart. So he will avoid that at all costs. I mean come on! Who wouldn’t want to meet your parents and your friends and get in good with them? Apparently not this dude…that’s a dead issue!!
#3 He has his life…..but he doesn’t include you in it
Now it’s been a good while that you both have been dating and in the back of your mind you’re wondering why he hasn’t introduced you to his friends, co-workers or even family. Well the reason for that is because he is uncertain that he wants you in his life fully at the moment. If a certain amount of time passes by and you haven’t even met his parents, that’s a problem. He is not looking at you as someone that he will be with for the rest of his life. You are definitely not wifey so you can take that out of your head.
#4 Not enough time is being spent with you
Ladies, you expect your man to spend a good amount of time with you. When he does, it shows that he really loves your company and he is definitely feeling you. Now if you ask him to go out and do something or even invite him somewhere and he gives you answers like “I have a lot going on at work” or “I have a lot going on that I need to tend to”, he is definitely not trying to make time for you. You can believe the lies all you want but the truth is, ladies, that if he really was as into you as you are into him that he will make time for you. Meet up with you for lunch or even a dinner date after work, the fact that he is making an attempt to see you means a lot. If he isn’t even doing that then you are the farthest thing from his mind. Sorry!
#5 When he takes forever to respond to a call or a text
Now we all know that it doesn’t take much to return a call or even a text to someone. I know we all have busy lives and we get tied up at times, but it’s courtesy to respond in a good amount of time. If it takes more than 24 hours for the man that you are dating to hit you back then there is a big chance that he isn’t interested. Nobody can be that busy to send a “sorry babe I have been busy, but I got your text (phone call) and my apologies for not responding right away” text. It shows that this person was on your mind and you respond back to put them at ease. If this man isn’t that respectful to even do that, why would you even waste your time with him?
#6 When you can call your man “Casper”
You are seeing this guy and out of no where he is gone!!! If you date a man and all of a sudden he just disappears and you don’t hear from him for days on end, or if he calls off or even cancels a date last minute, then you can call him Casper the ghost!!! He is definitely not trying to spend any time with you so he chooses to vanish out of your life in hopes that you will forget about him. Nobody likes someone that is here one minute and gone the next. Doesn’t this man know that this can drive you crazy? It puts those thoughts in your head like what’s wrong with me? Did I do something wrong? You didn’t do anything wrong, he just moved on and didn’t know how to tell you. So he figured he’d just make himself scarce. I know it’s dumb but…ehh!!!
#7 When your intuition is trying to tell you something
My mom would always tell me that a woman’s intuition is at most times the most accurate. When something is in their gut telling them something is wrong, most times it’s right. You are noticing that you are the one sending multiple texts or calling him a lot and it’s looking like you are playing for Team “Too Much”. You also notice that your actions are starting to look a little desperate. This is when you have to sit down and reassess the situation. Hmmm…you’re doing all the calling and texting and he refuses to reciprocate. Why he doesn’t remains to be a mystery. But one thing you can get from this is that he is making you look real dehydrated, or thirsty if you will. If you get to that point then you need to call this a loss. Why would you continue to put yourself out there like that to him when number one: You look damn good and have a great personality and number 2: There are so many other men out there that will love to be with someone like you. Just tell Felicia bye because that’s exactly what he is telling you in his own way. Suck it up like a sponge move on to the next.
#8 When he is dating other women besides you
Now it’s great that he is dating you and you both are enjoying each other’s company. But the problem is that he is also dating other females at the same time. I think at some point he is supposed to know whether or not he wants to take it further with you. If he is still stressing the fact that he wants to continue to date other females then he’s definitely not ready to be exclusive with you. He is all about playing the field. If he’s not ready then there is no need to push the issue. If he doesn’t know what he wants then leave him to do him and find someone else who is looking to focus on just you. If he can’t see the good thing that’s in front of him, let him stay blind to it. Why torture yourself??
#9 When your man doesn’t want to be intimate with you
Now you’re this far into dating and you have already become intimate with one another. After a while, you both are chilling together. You come out in your sexy negligee looking good to the GODS!!! Sashay your way over to him trying to get him all hot and turned on to stoke your furnace. You go to make your move and he pushes you away or he tells you he’s not in the mood. He just stops being affectionate with you altogether. That is a sign that this relationship is like the Boyz II Men song…coming to the end of the road. Any man that is interested in you does NOT turn down any advances!! You are offering the good good to him and he turns it away??? Who the hell does that?? A guy that is getting the good good from somebody else…that’s who!! If he refuses what you have to offer then he is getting it elsewhere.
#10 When he actually sits you down to tell you
The last one I think is the most honest approach and is one that I like using. Without being rude or hurting any feelings, you just tell the person that you aren’t interested in a relationship at the moment and that you would like to remain friends with her. That’s the most obvious sign that he isn’t into you!! He done told you!! I don’t care how good looking this guy is, don’t tell him that you will wait for him. I had a friend of mine do that and I had to like really shake my head. There are other men out there so you waiting for him and keeping yourself from finding the real Mr. Right is just absolutely ridiculous. You sit there and wait and he finally finds Miss Right for himself eventually and guess what? It’s not you! So don’t be a fool and wait just continue on your search to find a good man for yourself.
So there you have it….the 10 signs that a man just isn’t into you. This might have been helpful, it also could have struck a nerve. Either way, I did my job…so let it marinate til next month. Happy Independence Day….and see you next month!!!